Since Bart brought up the topic of guillotine, here is a true story.
Three students, from Yale, Harvard, and MIT, go to Paris for a spring break and party together like there is no tomorrow. They also smoke something they should not have. They get caught and the judge orders their execution - this is true - by guillotine.
The Yalie goes first. The executioner asks, "Do you have any last thoughts?" The Yalie says, "I want the world to to know that, even as I am dying, I believe that Yale is always better than Harvard." Executioner then pulls the cord, but the blade stops just short of the throat. The executioner calls it a divine act and sets the student free.
The Harvard student goes next. The executioner asks again, "Do you have any last thoughts?" The Harvard student says, "Harvard is the best and greatest university in the world - even on my last breath I had her on my mind." The executioner pulls the cord, and again the blade stops just short of the throat. The executioner calls that also a divine act and sets the student free.
Then the MIT engineer steps up. Before the executioner asks for any last thoughts, the student says, "Unless you remove that knot from the cord, I am not going anywhere near that stupid machine."
True story ...