Thank you, Torbs!
Responsibility is the key. I was forced to be responsible and heavily punished for slacking. I was not allowed to be "just a kid;" given no sympathy and schooled by menopausal penguins with no empathy.
The suffering still is felt, I was very fortunate to have been a high function case. I am still affected and still have minor OCD and ADHD so I have tried to find occupations where those specifics are tolerated or even required. The hardest part is to learn reactions which are, at first, mimicking other folks behaviors. Most children do it automatically, but we have to learn the hard way, and/or do not perceive nor respond to social cues. Some of us are not lucky enough to be able to substitute programming/programmed responses for assimilated interpersonal skills. As such, we tend to be either followers till we find that "The Emperor has no clothes" and then we point it out or some others, become people hating avoiders or controlling experts. Some of us have have developed many possibilities. I got fired often and then had to learn a new trade because I couldn't keep my mouth shut regarding, what were to me, glaring inadequacies in management and facilities. We often develop protective colorations, become people pleasing chameleons and are one thing to each person/area of our lives, and find ourselves in deep trouble when two areas coincide. Again some of us use the coloration to control others in our sphere of action, develop laziness, and avoid responsibility. That type can be recognized by their passive/ aggressive interaction with their surround until the responding person comes and then being sweetness and light, knowing that that person controls the keys to their happiness! The line is very thin between Asperger's and early learned controlling behaviors.
And, yet, I am more fortunate than many others! And even more so since I have learned to give thanks for what I have, and even more for that which I have missed.
Respectfully
~Richard