No need to apologize for offending me. Being offensive is more the issue.
I'll change my story to a 75 year old island immigrant found a razor, then a box, printed fake instructions and lied about purchasing it new...to make $5 at a flea market. Actually, only $2.50 since it came with a Simpson brush.
Oh no, I better hit the Simpson threads to make sure that's real!
I'm off to listen to some psychedelic music now...on a record, on a record player run by electricity, with the light on (all American inventions
@efsk 
. I enjoy doing this while drinking scotch and shooting deer out of my office window, while thinking about American exceptionism in my home large enough to fit several English cottages. What's on TV tonight?